Would You Like To Join The Illuminati?

I was minding my own business the other day when an individual on Instagram reached out to me with a propsition to join the Illuminati, get a million dollars, a house and a car. It was helpfully noted that there was no blood sacrifice involved. With apologies to Comedian James Veitch (who makes a living responding to scams), I felt I should reply as I was very curious to find out where this pitch would take me. What follows is the correspondence:

At this point our conversation turned into Steven endlessly asking me for the forms and repeating the same pitch word-for-word about being wealthy and powerful and running the world. I ceased responding, and I never got the list of items I needed to purchase for my initiation. Sigh.